Monday, December 8, 2008

My Voglia...

Last week my baby, our youngest, turned eight...last spring I wrote this post and it still means the same to me today as she continues to grow and add to our family!

When I was about 35 I had a voglia. That’s Italian for a deep yearning. At least that’s what it means from the part of Italy my mother’s family is from.

I could not shake this. It just ate and ate at me. I was a happily married teacher with 2 children and I desperately wanted to have another child. My mother chided me to be grateful for what I had.

And I was! But my voglia defies reason. The kids were finally getting older-7 and 11. We were getting older. Everyone was healthy, happy. Everything was really just fine.

I decided what I needed to do was make a pro and con list.
The con list was very long:

possibility of health issues as an older expectant mom
babysitting costs
starting all over again
another college to pay for-maybe in retirement years
how would it affect other kids
kids now self reliant
both in school, etc.

Very practical list! Very reasonable!

The pro list had one word on it:


And you know what? Sometimes the pro list wins. Sometimes you have a yearning so deep in your heart, you defy what everyone says, you drop out of a doctorate program as I did, and you follow your heart. You know what is right for you; you know what it is that gives your life meaning.

So when I was 38, at Thanksgiving, we had our youngest daughter. My husband was over the moon. My son, 12 at the time (now 20), is her godfather and a bigger spoiler you cannot find! Her sister was happy to have a friend. My mother told me to never listen to her again.

And you know what? I’m not as far along in my job as I could be. I never finished my doctorate. But I am content in the places in my heart where you can only be when you know you have made the right decision for yourself.

Each morning I drop my now 8 year old off to school and she says, “Mom, we’ll hold hands in our minds all day, right?” and I say yes. I send her off with a kiss and watch her towhead pigtails skip across the grass and I smile to myself. My voglia.


bj said...

oh, how I can relate to this lovely sweet daughter, Stacy, had 3 kids, older...then, at 32, she became pregnant again...and that little girl was a little angel sent to us. Deeds is now almost 7

Firefly Hill said...

How sweet...and what a beautiful, darling girl. Happy Birthday!

Cori G. said...

Oh Tara,
God gives us the desires of our hearts and He knew exactly what you needed. She is so darling! YOU are truly blessed!
xo Cori
And a very happy birthday to your little Voglia!

Tracy said...

Your voglia is a lovely, sweet young lady, Tara...Thank you for sharing yours, and her, beautiful story...Blessings to you both! ((HUGS))

CIELO said...

How cute!

By the way.... The House in the Roses is having a party!... Come to the “World of Treasures” and show your lovely treasures... Come see!


Abbie said...

Hi Tara!
Happy birthday to your sweetheart! she is lovely! :) sometimes we have to what our hearts tell us, not our heads. My husband and I have finally decided no more kids. but, in 3-4 years who knows?
Loved your Macy's day parade story! What a great tradition!

Donna said...

What a beautiful story, Tara. And your little towhead is beautiful too!


M.Kate said...

Oh Tara, beautiful post. Now I know what is voglia..i did thought it was some exotic italian dish hehe..My youngest son is 7. After 2 girls both only 11 months apart, and few years later, we yearned for a boy..and he came. I dont know when I gratuated from potty training, to listening the Barney and now Camp Rock, but I am glad I have them. Say happy birthday to the little missy for me, big hugs for both of you always, much love..M

corine said...

Lovely post. It makes sense to me to have a word for a deep longing. You expressed it very well. I had a similar experience, though infertility came as an looog obstacle! My boys are almost seven years apart but my heart is content.

Kathleen Grace said...

What a precious child. All the lists in the world just can't outweigh the joy one little child can bring.

Lydia said...

Hello Tara,
Your daughter is so pretty. I love the photo. I also love her name, it's so unique and pretty!
I too had my daughter at 35 and my son at 39 years old.
If I had to do it all over again, I would do it the same exact way. I heard about all the risks of waiting til your older to have babies, but I myself was in no way ready for children in my 20's, so I decided to wait til my mid to late 30's to start a family.
Wishing you a very nice day,

Pat said...

It is good you listened to your heart and made your voglia come true, Tara! I think that is how many babies come into this world as the "nay" list can always be long but the heart wins out most the time :-)

pve design said...

Funny, I had my twins and when they turned 5, I stopped my full time career to focus my attention on them and then as they hopped merrily off to elementary school, I felt guilty for not working and I said, "Give me a sign, should I stay or go", and my sign was a glorious girl. Also a tow head and every day I look at her and say how my world turned pinker when she entered our lives and our hearts. She adds to our joy! I know exactly what you mean! My voglia!

Kim~HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs said...

What a touching story!

Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving me a nice comment...I appreciate it.

bluemuf said...

Tara. this is a lovely, happy story. Thank you for sharing.


Kelly said...

Tara that is beautiful, what a sweet littl girl you have. I adore this followed your heart...what a great gift you have now for doing that!


Life on Bonnie Lane said...

I'm so glad you listened to your heart! Everyone was angry when I got pregnant with my youngest son, but our home just wasn't complete without him! I was a little younger, 33 when he was born, but have always been so happy I went ahead and had one more child! Your daughter is such a delight!


Cottage Contessa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cottage Contessa said...

Oh Tara, what a touching and heartfelt post! Happy, Happy Birthday to your gorgeous little 8yr old angel! I hope her special day is everything she's hoping for and more!
Amanda (aka Cottage Contessa)

spot said...

Daughters are much more fun than doctorates

Oliver Rain said...

What a sweet post. I love the idea of voglia.

Ange said...

Glad I read this.
I'm about to turn 35 and have the same con list in my mind.
People always ask if we're done, and I can't honestly say we are.
The house is full and wonderful, but I used to feel the same way before we had Pickles, so ya never know.
Glad to read this!
I'll keep it in my thoughts and just let whatever is meant to happen happen.